You can’t make these things up…

When I first thought about posting to the blog I didn’t think I would have anything to write about.  Fortunately, the kids I work with come up with mind-boggling/mind-numbing comments on an almost daily basis.  However, it has caused me to become less productive at work because I now feel obligated to keep track of the ridiculous things they say and as a result, start coming up with the post in my head while I should be working.

Here is a brief summary of my day:

8:30 am-After exiting the bathroom I turned and saw one of my students getting a drink from the water fountain.  Except, it was more like taking a bath than getting a drink.  He had his entire mouth over the spout and because he was at such an awkward angle, had to balance his body by putting his hand over the drain which in turn, blocked it which caused the water to POUR down the side.  I gently grabbed him by the arm and asked what he was doing.  He replied, “getting a drink” and looked at me as if to say, “duh, what does it look like I’m doing?”  I took a deep breath and then asked him if he realized the water was splashing all over the floor and all over him.  No, he had not noticed.  I then took another deep breath and asked why he had his entire mouth over the spout and he responded, “how else is the water going to get in my mouth?”  I decided to pick my battles and move on with my day and then just had to smile to myself and laugh that they actually pay me to have these conversations with kids.

Mind-numbing moment #2:  8:45 am-”The easter bunny is coming tonight!”-Eight year old child to her friends.  Response from her friends-”No stupid-not the easter bunny, it’s the leprechaun that is coming tonight!”  Umm…where was I when parents started telling their kids that leprechauns come to their house, make a mess, and leave candy in their shoes?  I don’t know if it was because my mom was a clean freak and the idea of a leprechaun coming into the house and making a mess stressed her out or what, but we never got paid a visit!  It truly boggles my mind that kids these days buy this crap-and I thought the Easter Bunny was a stretch.  However, according to one of my fourth graders “there is no such thing as leprechauns…the Easter Bunny-now that’s a different story-I can’t wait to see what he brings me this year.”  And the town wonders why these kids can’t pass MCAS…

11:00 am-lunch group:  Fourth grader to entire group:  ”I asked my mom why she isn’t having another baby and she told me it was because my dad had surgery.  I mean, how random is she?  What does my dad having surgery have to do with her having another baby.  She makes no sense.  Sometimes I think she doesn’t even listen to what I am saying.”  This went on for a good ten minutes before I told them we were moving on and that they could direct all questions to their parents-never a dull moment!

2:00 pm-this quote sums up my day:  ”He knows not to bite when he is a lizard”-Teacher explaining that although her student often crawls around the classroom and acts like a lizard, he at least knows enough not to bite the other students.

Again, how am I supposed to help these kids make friends when this is what I am given to work with! :)

About the author

Super Secret doesn't want to write a bio... They just want to share all of their funny kid stories! Maybe if I write something really embarrassing they'll come back and write something new here...