Breaking news from the NFL. According to unnamed rumors, multiple sources are reporting that the New England Patriots have traded star quarterback Tom Brady to the Jacksonville Jaguars. Exact parameters of the deal have yet to announced, although it appears as if the Patriots will send Brady to the Jaguars for Justin Blackmon, Tyson Alualu and the No. 2 overall pick in the 2013 NFL Draft.
Sources are reporting that Patriots owner Robert Kraft had enough of Brady’s whining about the team not re-signing some of his friends. From Lawyer Milloy to Deion Branch to Randy Moss to Wes Welker, Brady has not made his feelings public, but has gone to Kraft each and every time to voice his frustration.
“Tom is no longer a member of this team, so this will be the final time I will speak about him,” Kraft told reporters from Gillette Stadium this morning. “I told you last week that I do not report to Brady. He reports to me. He works for me. I do not work for him. It is the other way around. He doesn’t want to play the Patriot way, let him go and rot in Jacksonville. They won’t win more than five games next season, even with No. 12 under center.”
Kraft went on to say that he feels as if this deal will actually benefit New England as early as this season. He is confident in the abilities of Ryan Mallett, and added that Blackmon finally gives them a real threat receiver.
“It will be nice to have a player line up on the outside who is actually taller than Mickey Mouse,” quipped Kraft. “You simply can’t have a bunch of guys out there who are shorter than their wives and girlfriends.”
Boston Mayor Tom Menino also decided to chime in with his feelings.
“As a community, we will certainly miss Braisley. Along with already having lost Welter and other players, it may tough for the Patriots to win the World Series this season. Hoisting the Stanley Cup will be awfully difficult without some of the players who helped us win it all in 2011. But, if Jackman and Achuachu are as good as they say, then we can win it all again in 2013, just like we did in 2012.”
Alright, maybe that was too much. But, to show that BSB has a sense of humor, Happy April Fool’s Day to all!