Roethlisberger’s New Friend…

So, Pittsburgh Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is back in the news. No, he is not celebrating another Super Bowl. No, he is not changing uniforms during the NFL’s free agency period. He is back in the news because…well…Lets just say that Roethlisberger cannot help himself from introducing everyone around him to “Big Ben.”

After the first incident, where there was no findings of any criminal activity (civil suit still pending), I think the world was hoping it was just a ploy to extort some money from a very rich man. But following the most recent accusations, it is becoming harder to believe Roethlisberger. Perhaps Big Ben needs to hook up with Tiger Woods.

Ben seems to be on the run a lot lately

I’m being completely honest here. The only thing that Tiger did wrong was get married and have a kid first. Had he been a bachelor, people would have been much more understanding. Sure, so he likes to get his shafts polished, and his irons rung, and his balls…well, you get it. But it was ten times worse since he is married (to a woman a thousand times more attractive than any of his little tigerettes, no less). That is where Woods went off the fairway.

So, Ben, look up Tiger and get in touch. Meet him for a drink. You can probably text him. Not through AT&T, though. Tell him to clean himself up and have a shave. But not with any Gillette products. Have a drink to psyche himself up. But no Gatorade. Get in his car. Probably not a Buick. And meet you somewhere. But for your sake, Ben – not at a bar in Georgia.

Good luck, boys!

About the author

Rob Kelley

Rob Kelley is a sports reporter for various newspapers in Florida, and is trying to break back into the sports writing game after a brief hiatus following the publishing of his first book, I'm Not a Quitter. He recently resigned as Editor-in-Chief and lead writer for The South Shore Magazine to pursue better opportunities. You can follow him on Twitter @RobKelley24.