Breaking news from the NFL. According to unnamed rumors, multiple sources are reporting that the New England Patriots have traded star quarterback Tom Brady to the Jacksonville Jaguars. Exact parameters of the deal have yet to announced, although it appears as if the Patriots will send Brady to the Jaguars for Justin Blackmon, Tyson Alualu and the No. 2 overall pick in the 2013 NFL Draft.
Sources are reporting that Patriots owner Robert Kraft had enough of Brady’s whining about the team not re-signing some of his friends. From Lawyer Milloy to Deion Branch to Randy Moss to Wes Welker, Brady has not made his feelings public, but has gone to Kraft each and every time to voice his frustration.
“Tom is no longer a member of this team, so this will be the final time I will speak about him,” Kraft told reporters from Gillette Stadium this morning. “I told you last week that I do not report to Brady. He reports to me. He works for me. I do not work for him. It is the other way around. He doesn’t want to play the Patriot way, let him go and rot in Jacksonville. They won’t win more than five games next season, even with No. 12 under center.”
Kraft went on to say that he feels as if this deal will actually benefit New England as early as this season. He is confident in the abilities of Ryan Mallett, and added that Blackmon finally gives them a real threat receiver.
“It will be nice to have a player line up on the outside who is actually taller than Mickey Mouse,” quipped Kraft. “You simply can’t have a bunch of guys out there who are shorter than their wives and girlfriends.”
Boston Mayor Tom Menino also decided to chime in with his feelings.
“As a community, we will certainly miss Braisley. Along with already having lost Welter and other players, it may tough for the Patriots to win the World Series this season. Hoisting the Stanley Cup will be awfully difficult without some of the players who helped us win it all in 2011. But, if Jackman and Achuachu are as good as they say, then we can win it all again in 2013, just like we did in 2012.”
Alright, maybe that was too much. But, to show that BSB has a sense of humor, Happy April Fool’s Day to all!
April fools day.
im not a pat fan & never will but i honestly think they should… 1 man is not a team(theres no I in team) they can make a blockbuster trade )
your career as a writer is going to take off…april fools! your an idiot
you’re* HAHAAAHAHAAHAHAA SUCKA
The Menino bit was believable.
Great April fools. …….you had me going for a while…….Olson wells would be proud. War of the worlds lives again
i love this article
are you kidding me????!!!!!!!!!!! you’r clearly not from NE if you were then you would realize that its not funny!
I agree Omar…This is a bad joke…Tom is #12 but we all know he will always be #1..AND for the team…Go Patriots!!!
Omar, What I also wanted to say is Tom and the Team “are” and will “always” be #1…No other team has ever achieved what they did in such a short time, back to back Superbowls and they did it as a team!!!
You mean cheated thier way to back to back SB’s You all forget your Coach was fined Half a Million dollars? That ain’t no slap but he should have been banned for life. That ain’t no rumor. Then the front office burns the evidence cause they know there would have been such a back lash. So go ahead and brag but know that every other fan and team looks at ya as the biggest cheats in all of NFL history. And you know it.!
That would be the stupidest trade in Jags history.
That was a terrible joke… I was about to have a panic attack and cry… That would’ve been the worse trade of ALL time…
April Fools thats bull****
trying to give me a heart attack
what a joke
All u people acting like idiots…u could tell that was an April fools koke from distance and it was funny, especially when they added in the Mayor….hahahahaha
…..not at all funny!!
I was about to start looking for another team to root for…
u almost caused my second heart attack
i was disgusted, had me going for a minute…BRADY forever baby LETS GO PATS!!!!
Funny one…had me going..just happy it’s not true.
BS!!!..This have to be best April Fool’s joke of all time!!!!!!
I didn’t believe it for a second. Robert Kraft would never talk like that about anybody. But that was very funny. I laughed harder than I have in a while…thank you !!
Enjoying reading some of the pleasant comments! Rare occurrence in this game! Thanks to all who got a chuckle. Keep on reading!
You boob. You gave it away the minute you quoted Kraft. He would never say those things about Brady and Welker to the press.
I knew right away it was a joke, but it was kind of funny.